Teacher: There's a term to describe this big idea. Does anyone know the term?
Teacher writes on the whiteboard.
Class is doing a warm-up about the effects of cloning and ways it can be done
*silence*
Student: Woah!!! What if ______(student's name) clones herself?? I would just have to commit suicide because then, not only would I be hearing her talk all the time, but I'd be hearing duplicates of her talking!
Economics class lecture...
Teacher: Induction. It's going from facts to theory. Can anyone give me an example of induction?
[Student #1 raises hand]
Student #1: You get all straight A's throughout high school. Therefore, you must be Asian.
(class laughs)
Teacher: Okay... yes, can anyone give me another example of induction?
[Student #2 raises hand]
Student #2: You were born in China. Therefore you must be a communist.
(class laughs)
Teacher: [pauses for a second to think] Can anyone give me an example of induction... WITHOUT any Asians?
(class laughter)
AP Bio class is discussing the last few days before the AP test.
Teacher: Taking AP Bio is like giving birth! It hurts when you're doing it, but you're happy you did it when you look back!
Student 1: (points out) Yeah, but none of us are taking pain killers.
The class mumbles in agreement.
Teacher: Oh yeah...
Student 2: Keep pushing!
Boy pokes Girl on the side.
Teacher: So how many seniors are on this room?
Class discusses the CAHSEE a week before testing.
Student 1: So I have to do this project on Ghandi..
(With all seriousness:)
Student 2: Wait, is Ghandi a sophmore?
Student 1: Ya, he is, and Jesus graduated last year.
Teacher: ...for you to understand this concept, let me give an example using the game pick up stix. Now how many are familiar with that game?
Student: What do you use to play the game?
Class along with teacher: STICKS!!
Spanish class is practicing using their commands and sense of directions in their textbook.
Boy #1 takes Girl's binder during SSR
Student eats strawberries in Teacher's class
Teacher: That is the biggest strawberry I have ever seen. Is it on steroids?
After presenting a group video project in Government class...
Student #1: "Aw... come on, Mr. _(teacher's name)_! You liked our project..."
(laughter in class)
Student #2: "You so DID like it, Mr. _(teacher's name)_. You know you did."
Teacher: (says with sarcasm) "Yeah, yeah... sure I did."
Student #1: "You DID! You were LAUGHING!"
Teacher: "Well, there's really two ways to laugh: one with and one AT."
Class: "Oohhhhhh... BURN!"
Playing Jeopardy for a group project in Government class...
Class: "Miscellaneous for 500!"
Host: "What is Harry Potter's owl name?"
Students raise hand. Picks Student #1.
Student #1: "HEDWIG!!"
Host: "Correct."
Teacher: "The answer to that question should have been, 'who cares?'."