Boy 1 to Boy 2: "So what does it feel like to be a freshman on the first day school?"
Boy 2: "What are you talking about? I'm a senior. "
Boy 1: -rolls eyes- "Yeah sure."
Boy 2: "I'm serious."
The 2 minute bell rings
Boy 2: "OH NO! Was that the late bell?! I'm going to be so late!" (starts to run)
Boy 1: "Some senior."
Nervous "Senior"
Blurry
Person 1 plays with Person 2's camera.
Person 1: I'm going to take a picture.
Person 2: Okay.
Person 1: -squints into viewfinder- Hey. It's all blurry!
Person 2: Hm. -adjusts lens- It looks fine.
Person 1: -squints- It's STILL blurry.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: -looks about camera looking for a flaw-
"Oh. I just don't have my contacts on."
Love
Person 1: -singing- "Give me a gun and I'll start a war/ if you tell me something worth fighting for."
That's from Coldplay.
Person 2: MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.
If I were gay...
Student 1: Kobe Bryant is a GOD!
Student 2: Like the Jesus of Basketball!
Student 1: I know seriously, if I was gay I would want him like, sooooooo bad.
Wahoo's
Teacher: Okay so I was at Wahoo's with a friend when someone came up behind me, gave me a hug, and kissed me on the cheek.
Student: Who, your mom?
Damaged
Student 1: You know that new "Damaged" song by Danity Kane?
Student 2: Ya, I LOVE it!
Student 1: Me too, (begins singing) "...can you fix my H-E-R-A-T..."
Student 2: Whats a HERAT?
Student 1: Heart! That's what I said, H-E-R-A-T.
Notes
Student 1: I'm so glad we were allowed to have notes on the test.
Student 2: We were allowed notes on the test?!
Teacher: You didn't hear?
Student 2: No.
Student 1: Didn't you see everyone with their notes out?
Student 2: Yeah, but I thought all you guys were cheating.
Parlez-vous Francais?
Student 1: Qu'avez-vous fait pendant le week-end?
Student 2: Who did I do over the weekend?
Student 1: Nooo, what did you do?
Braces
Teacher: Okay what's the answer?
Student: The main character starts out…
Student starts slobbering while saying the answer
Class: Ewwww!
Student: Sorry, I haven't got the hang of this whole braces thing yet.
Student-teacher hang out over the summer
(male) Student: Hey, teacher can I get your number?
Teacher: What?! Why?
Student: Because, aren't we going to hangout?
Teacher: WE? Whose WE? Only you.
2nd week of reading assignments in AP English 4
Teacher: Ok, so you guys should be done with your second book or long book by tommorow?
Student 1: (whispers) Hey, how far are you in your book?
Student 2: (also whispers) Pg. 90. How bout you?
Student 1: Me too. Wait how long is this book?
Student 2: Around 400 pages.
Student 1: Great. Kill me now.
Student 2: Its ok. Just read the whole day.
Student 1: Easy for you to say, I have a concert tonight.
Time Travel in Pyshics
Student: Hey teacher, you want to know how you can time travel?
Teacher: Not this again...
Student: No seriously, I figured it out
Teacher: Fine how?
Student: You know how when you are really bored, time goes by really slow. Well, if you shut yourself up in a closet and bore yourself to death, time will stop and I'll be able to see you yesterday. isn't that Awesome!
Teacher: Oh my gosh. wow.
Student: Hey you want to do it with me?
Teacher: Yeah right, you try it first then I'll see
Coach's wise words
Coach: It's okay to have squeeze and butt in the same sentence as long as you're not doing it.
The old spanish joke...
Student 1: Hey, what do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Student2: I have no clue...
Student1: NA-ChO CHEESE! buhahahaha
Student2: teeheehehe
What's to be funny about?
Student 1: I need someone to say something funny so I can overhear it. Say something funny!
Student 2: No you say something funny
Student 1: That wasn't very funny but it's going up anyway... You better laugh!
The asian language
Student1: Oh, can you say something in asian...I mean Korean?
Student 2: In asian? Oh wow, you are very culturally insensitive.
Low comedy
Teacher: Can someone give me an example of low comedy?
Boy 1: Southpark.
Teacher: No, I don't think it --
Boy 1: Yes, actually. It's low comedy.
Boy 2: Hey; it's smarter than you'll ever be.
Buff and manly
Teacher: Does anyone have any questions?
Boy: How do I become buff and manly like you?
Teacher: You know, some things are just not possible. You can set your sights high, but don't set them too high.
Starfish
Teacher: So, you guys; how'd you enjoy Prom? Did anyone touch the starfish?
Boy 1: Starfish are nastier than newborn babies.
Boy 2: What did he say...? Oh; I thought he said "lukewarm."
SSW
Boy 1, upon entering the bathroom: Great. I love how it always smells like smoke in here.
Boy 2: It's called Silent Sustained Weeding.
The Study of Afros
Girl: Hey, what does aphorism mean?
Boy #1: I don't know. Hey, what does aphorism mean?
Boy #2: The study of afros.
Girl & Boy #1: ...?
Boy #2: What did you say again?
Boy #1: Aphorism
Boy #2: OH! I thought you said AFRO-ism.
Girl: Is that even a word?
WASC sting
WASC observer, leaving classroom: Thank you; I really enjoyed your class...And, I'm not evil. Bye.
Teacher: Uh oh. Did we give him the impression we thought he was evil? We are so not getting that six-year accreditation.
Star Testing
Girl: What's the point of STAR testing? I already know that I am going to be a star!
Boy: (shakes head in disappointment)
Formal vs. familiar
Spanish Teacher: You use the formal tense when speaking to adults like a teacher, a professional, or a police officer.
Student: So, like, do you want me to "Usted" your mom?
Spanish Teacher: No! I don't want you anywhere near my mother.
Boobs?
Teacher: In this context, bosom doesn't mean that word that you students like to say so much. It's so painful, I can hardly say it....BOOBS!
Class: (laughter)
Teacher: Yea...someone called them funbags in first period.
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