Student 1: I should learn how to do ballet like you.
Student 2: Oh my gosh yeah! I'll help you.
Student 1: Yeah! Klie!
Student 2: Haha what?
Student 1: Its what people in ballet say.
Student 2: Hahaha you mean plie?
Student 1: Yeah same thing, its all Spanish.
Spanish Ballet
Tricky Poems
Boy 1: Dude, I had to read a poem in Spanish today.
Boy 2: Aw man that sucks!
Boy 1: I know! I was like, I can't even understand a poem in English, how am I supposed to understand one in another language.
Deep insights...
(while looking at a picture in a text book)
Student 1: (points at painting within picture) Look! It's a picture... in a picture.
Student 2: *shiver* That was deep.
Hair Clip
Student messenger enters classroom. Gives note to teacher.
Teacher: [Kyle] your mommy left your hair clip in the office.
Gives [Kyle] note.
[Kyle]: It's my parking permit!
Too Hot
Student enters stuffy classroom after lunch.
Girl: Ohhh... it's so hot in here!
Boy: I'm sorry - do you want me to leave?
How they name spiders
A big spider with red dots sits on a web in front of Mr. Uribe's room. Everyone looks at it.
Uribe: Since I don't think anyone has ever seen this spider before, I'm hoping they'll let me name it after myself.
Student: But then people will be like, "Ewwwww! It's a Uribe!!"
Nervous "Senior"
Boy 1 to Boy 2: "So what does it feel like to be a freshman on the first day school?"
Boy 2: "What are you talking about? I'm a senior. "
Boy 1: -rolls eyes- "Yeah sure."
Boy 2: "I'm serious."
The 2 minute bell rings
Boy 2: "OH NO! Was that the late bell?! I'm going to be so late!" (starts to run)
Boy 1: "Some senior."
Blurry
Person 1 plays with Person 2's camera.
Person 1: I'm going to take a picture.
Person 2: Okay.
Person 1: -squints into viewfinder- Hey. It's all blurry!
Person 2: Hm. -adjusts lens- It looks fine.
Person 1: -squints- It's STILL blurry.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: -looks about camera looking for a flaw-
"Oh. I just don't have my contacts on."
Love
Person 1: -singing- "Give me a gun and I'll start a war/ if you tell me something worth fighting for."
That's from Coldplay.
Person 2: MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.
If I were gay...
Student 1: Kobe Bryant is a GOD!
Student 2: Like the Jesus of Basketball!
Student 1: I know seriously, if I was gay I would want him like, sooooooo bad.
Wahoo's
Teacher: Okay so I was at Wahoo's with a friend when someone came up behind me, gave me a hug, and kissed me on the cheek.
Student: Who, your mom?
Damaged
Student 1: You know that new "Damaged" song by Danity Kane?
Student 2: Ya, I LOVE it!
Student 1: Me too, (begins singing) "...can you fix my H-E-R-A-T..."
Student 2: Whats a HERAT?
Student 1: Heart! That's what I said, H-E-R-A-T.
Notes
Student 1: I'm so glad we were allowed to have notes on the test.
Student 2: We were allowed notes on the test?!
Teacher: You didn't hear?
Student 2: No.
Student 1: Didn't you see everyone with their notes out?
Student 2: Yeah, but I thought all you guys were cheating.
Parlez-vous Francais?
Student 1: Qu'avez-vous fait pendant le week-end?
Student 2: Who did I do over the weekend?
Student 1: Nooo, what did you do?
Braces
Teacher: Okay what's the answer?
Student: The main character starts out…
Student starts slobbering while saying the answer
Class: Ewwww!
Student: Sorry, I haven't got the hang of this whole braces thing yet.
Student-teacher hang out over the summer
(male) Student: Hey, teacher can I get your number?
Teacher: What?! Why?
Student: Because, aren't we going to hangout?
Teacher: WE? Whose WE? Only you.
2nd week of reading assignments in AP English 4
Teacher: Ok, so you guys should be done with your second book or long book by tommorow?
Student 1: (whispers) Hey, how far are you in your book?
Student 2: (also whispers) Pg. 90. How bout you?
Student 1: Me too. Wait how long is this book?
Student 2: Around 400 pages.
Student 1: Great. Kill me now.
Student 2: Its ok. Just read the whole day.
Student 1: Easy for you to say, I have a concert tonight.
Time Travel in Pyshics
Student: Hey teacher, you want to know how you can time travel?
Teacher: Not this again...
Student: No seriously, I figured it out
Teacher: Fine how?
Student: You know how when you are really bored, time goes by really slow. Well, if you shut yourself up in a closet and bore yourself to death, time will stop and I'll be able to see you yesterday. isn't that Awesome!
Teacher: Oh my gosh. wow.
Student: Hey you want to do it with me?
Teacher: Yeah right, you try it first then I'll see
Coach's wise words
Coach: It's okay to have squeeze and butt in the same sentence as long as you're not doing it.
The old spanish joke...
Student 1: Hey, what do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Student2: I have no clue...
Student1: NA-ChO CHEESE! buhahahaha
Student2: teeheehehe
What's to be funny about?
Student 1: I need someone to say something funny so I can overhear it. Say something funny!
Student 2: No you say something funny
Student 1: That wasn't very funny but it's going up anyway... You better laugh!
The asian language
Student1: Oh, can you say something in asian...I mean Korean?
Student 2: In asian? Oh wow, you are very culturally insensitive.
Low comedy
Teacher: Can someone give me an example of low comedy?
Boy 1: Southpark.
Teacher: No, I don't think it --
Boy 1: Yes, actually. It's low comedy.
Boy 2: Hey; it's smarter than you'll ever be.
Buff and manly
Teacher: Does anyone have any questions?
Boy: How do I become buff and manly like you?
Teacher: You know, some things are just not possible. You can set your sights high, but don't set them too high.
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