Steroidsberry

Student eats strawberries in Teacher's class

Teacher: That is the biggest strawberry I have ever seen. Is it on steroids?

Laugh with or laugh AT

After presenting a group video project in Government class...

Student #1: "Aw... come on, Mr. _(teacher's name)_! You liked our project..."

(laughter in class)

Student #2: "You so DID like it, Mr. _(teacher's name)_. You know you did."

Teacher: (says with sarcasm) "Yeah, yeah... sure I did."

Student #1: "You DID! You were LAUGHING!"

Teacher: "Well, there's really two ways to laugh: one with and one AT."

Class: "Oohhhhhh... BURN!"

Hedwig

Playing Jeopardy for a group project in Government class...

Class: "Miscellaneous for 500!"

Host: "What is Harry Potter's owl name?"

Students raise hand. Picks Student #1.

Student #1: "HEDWIG!!"

Host: "Correct."

Teacher: "The answer to that question should have been, 'who cares?'."

Buttface

Student 1: *insert lame joke here*
Student 2: That wasn't even funny.
Student 1: Well, you know what? Your butt!
Student 2: What?
Student 1: Your face! Oh, oops. Same thing as the last insult. Buttface.

The teacher just put live crickets into the lizard tank at the back of the classroom, which are supposed to serve as the lizards' food.

Student 1: *while leaving class with Student 2* Those crickets are so annoying! They never shut up.
Student 2: God, I know! I wish they'd just freakin die already!

Just hit the spider...

During the last few minutes of class, the class is having a discussion about learning to play baseball as kids

Teacher: I only found out about a week ago that I've been batting wrong all my life, because we never had coaching like you guys do. We'd just go out on to the feild and figure out what we were supposed to do.
Student: You're supposed to hit the spider, remember?
Teacher: *gives student a weird look* What?
Student: You know. Like, when you're hitting the ball off the tee-thing, you're supposed to hit the spider.
Teacher: *getting irritated* Well, nobody ever taught me to hit the damn spider!

If You're Going to Bet. . .Don't

In P.E, playing baseball

Girl 1: Shut up or I'll slap you with this [baseball] glove.

Girl 2: I bet you 2 billion bucks you won't slap me.

*slap*

Girl 1: You owe me 2 billion bucks.

I'm Bringing Greco-Roman Back

English teacher's attempt in making a joke.

Teacher: Yes, they [humanists] were bringing Greco-Roman back.

*pause*

Teacher: Yeah, I also heard that the original song title was going to be Greco-RomanBack, but his producers wouldn't let him, so he settled for SexyBack.

*longest silence ever to be recorded in human history*

Student: Oooh! I get it! It's a Justin Timberlake's song!
Class: Ooooh. . .

Conceited Much?

Girl 1: You're so freaking lucky.
Girl 2: Thanks, but why?
Girl 1: Because, you get to look at me right now.