Worms and their eyes...

Photo Teacher: Class, there are three major perspectives from which you can take a photo.
There is worm's eye, sea level, and bird's eye. YOU move to get the photo YOU want.

Student 1: Worm's eye, sea level, bird's eye. Hmm... very interesting...

Student 2: Wait-but I thought worms don't have eyes!

Messages from beyond...

Two girls talking about a guy who asked a girl out:

Girl 1: I heard she said no though...

Girl 2: Really? Did she give a reason?

Girl 1: Yeah... she said her grandma wouldn't let her.

Girl 2: But her grandma's dead...

Rain, rain, go away...

Teacher: How many of you guys like the rain?

(students raise their hands)

Student [in intentionally high squeaky voice]:My mommy told me that when it rains, the angels are peeing after a party last night.

Teacher: Is that why you open your mouth towards the sky? Like this? (opens mouth real wide upward)

(laughter)

White people toasters

Student 1 is trying to describe a conventional, pop-out-ish toaster to student 2, while student 3 looks on.

Student 1: Come on. You know what I'm talking about. Those toasters that have slits at the top!
Student 2: Huh?
Student 3: Like, white people toasters!

Crushed Hope

Announcements: Alright Barons, don't forget that tomorrow is modified!

Students: Yay!!

Announcements: (sternly) No, it's not!

Students: Awww...