Class discussion about Sarah Palin after election...
Teacher: Palin just didn't understand her leadership roles if she became Vice President... that's it.
Student: It's because she's a WOMAN, right?
Teacher: (points back at student and nods head enthusiastically as if student had won a million dollars) YES! YES! That's EXACTLY why!!!!!!!!
Women
Powerpoint and Wife
Powerpoint randomly shuts off in the middle of a lecture in class...
Student 1: What the...?
Student 2: Uh-oh...
Teacher: That's ok. -Clicks powerpoint on- It does what I tell it to do. Just like my wife.
Prop 2: Farm Animals
*class discussion about Propositions*
Teacher: I love animals
Class: ...
Teacher: I think they're delicious!
Get Some English Lessons Man
In World History, playing out the Three Estates Game
Student 1 (to King): Discommunicate him! Discommunicate him! Discommunacate him! [in reference to a traitor]
Teacher whispers: Hey student's name, it's EXcommunicate.
Later, during a third estate's revolt against the King
Student 1 (same student as above): King, you put unguilty people in jail!
Several students and teacher: INNOCENT people!
Teacher: Yeah student's name, learn some English.
Oh Canada...
the day after the results of the Presidential Election were announced
Boy: Obama won!
Girl: (disappointed look) I know... Canada here I come!
After the Bell Game Assembly...
Teacher: So I'm really confused about the assembly
Students: Ok what didn't you get?
Teacher: Who were those two guys?
Students: What?? You've never heard of Mario and Luigi and SuperMario Brothers???
Teacher: No who are they?
Student 1: (whispering to student 2) wow that's what we're going to be like in 50 years.
silence
'great' way to get the bell
Teacher: "...this year we need to win the bell game. Look at the seniors, throughout their whole high school experience, we haven't won it once..."
Student: "Why don't we just buy a bell?"
Student adventures
The bell rings and the morning announcements begin as student #1 and student #2 enter the class together.
Teacher: "You're late, get a tardy slip."
Students leave the classroom to get tardy slips. (5 minutes later) Student #1 comes in.
Teacher: "Where's student #2?"
Student #1: Mumbling "I don't know.."
(30 seconds later) Student #2 enters classroom with bell game tickets in one hand and tardy slip in another.
Teacher: astonished "You got tickets!"
Student #2: "Well, it was on the way..."
Class laughter
Prop 4
Government Class just finished the "school" voting during 3rd period. Now students want to vote on some more important issues...
Male Student 1: Mr. (Teacher)! Can we now vote on Prop 4? See what our class would say about it?
Male Student 2: What is Prop 4 about?
Male Student 1: Ahh... it's about abortion- whether it should be mandatory that parents know their daughters would be getting one...
Female Student: (points at Male Student 1) Hey! It shouldn't interest you, since you won't ever be pregnant!
Teacher: YOU NEVER KNOW! It happened on Oprah!
Student: Mr. (Teacher), it was a trans gender...
Teacher: THAT'S TRUE! But still! You never know what could happen...
Class laughter
No Comment
Teacher: "So, my brother lives across the street by the field..."
Student: "Oh, I bet he does..."
Oh yeah?
On Halloween, the teacher is dressed up as an Egyptian queen and is trying to get the class to settle down
Teacher: Hey, you guys! You must listen to me for I am the queen of Egypt and this is my land.
Student: Oh yeah? Well, I'm ___________.
Anticipated silence
Teacher: Nice one.
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