Starfish

Teacher: So, you guys; how'd you enjoy Prom? Did anyone touch the starfish?

Boy 1: Starfish are nastier than newborn babies.

Boy 2: What did he say...? Oh; I thought he said "lukewarm."

SSW

Boy 1, upon entering the bathroom: Great. I love how it always smells like smoke in here.

Boy 2: It's called Silent Sustained Weeding.

The Study of Afros

Girl: Hey, what does aphorism mean?
Boy #1: I don't know. Hey, what does aphorism mean?
Boy #2: The study of afros.
Girl & Boy #1: ...?
Boy #2: What did you say again?
Boy #1: Aphorism
Boy #2: OH! I thought you said AFRO-ism.
Girl: Is that even a word?

WASC sting

WASC observer, leaving classroom: Thank you; I really enjoyed your class...And, I'm not evil. Bye.

Teacher: Uh oh. Did we give him the impression we thought he was evil? We are so not getting that six-year accreditation.

Star Testing

Girl: What's the point of STAR testing? I already know that I am going to be a star!

Boy: (shakes head in disappointment)

Formal vs. familiar

Spanish Teacher: You use the formal tense when speaking to adults like a teacher, a professional, or a police officer.

Student: So, like, do you want me to "Usted" your mom?

Spanish Teacher: No! I don't want you anywhere near my mother.

Boobs?

Teacher: In this context, bosom doesn't mean that word that you students like to say so much. It's so painful, I can hardly say it....BOOBS!

Class: (laughter)

Teacher: Yea...someone called them funbags in first period.