Teacher: I'm not going to reveal my political views, but if this Barack Alabama guy gets into the White House, the only thing he's going to change is his underwear...hopefully.
Math class snack
Teacher: The unit vector form tells us...(to student) Excuse me! What are we doing here? Making paper dolls?
Student: Do you want me to throw it away?
Teacher: I want you to eat it!
Hiccups
Student 1: When I get the hiccups, I usually hold my breath.
Student 2: If you hold your breath long enough, it solves all your problems.
Squint
Teacher: We don't have a projector screen, but we're going to overcome that problem. We're going to squint real hard...
Student: That shouldn't be a problem for the Chinese people.
Prom date market
Teacher: The whole point of the stock market is to pick the winners and stay away from the losers – kind of like picking a prom date.
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